


Crashing

by Karin1232



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, Family, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:32:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karin1232/pseuds/Karin1232
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens to Louis, his husband Harry and their kids if one of them gets diagnosed with cancer at the age of 5? A fight between life and death begins and no one knows how it’s going to end…</p><p>Niall is 7, Zayn 5 and Liam is 3</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crashing

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a Story that I wrote on my writing blog 1dpromptwriting.tumblr.com  
> I thought I'd share it with you as well :)  
> Hope you like it!

Sometimes horrible things happen to the best people and we don’t know why. Sometimes fate isn’t nice to you and tears everything apart. No one would ever have a doubt about the fact that the Tomlinsons were the perfect family and Harry had to admit that the people were probably right. They were perfect. Why?  
Because Harry had everything he could ask for. For Harry and Louis Tomlinson life had been great so far. The two of them were married for nearly ten years now and as an addition to their happy life they also had three amazing kids called Niall, Zayn and Liam.

Niall was the oldest at the age of seven, Zayn was five years old and Liam, their youngest, had just turned three. The three kids were their life and both Harry and Louis would do whatever they could to keep them safe and happy. 

They lived in a beautiful house in a small town called Holmes Chapel, the place where Louis and Harry had met each other for the first time all these years ago. One day the couple had decided to adopt a child because they had always loved kids and having their own family had been their biggest dream.

  
Niall had only been three weeks old as he had been brought into the orphanage. He had been very weak because his mother had simply thrown him into a trash can because he hadn’t stopped crying. Luckily for Niall an older woman had heard his cries and had saved his life by taking the boy to the orphanage.  


Harry and Louis had fallen in love with the little bundle of joy as soon as they had seen him for the first time, knowing that he was going to be their son.  


The first few days with Niall had been very hard for both of the dads because they hadn’t known much about taking care of kids. They had fought a lot and had been stressed and tired because Niall had been sick quite often and so they hadn’t been able to sleep at all during some nights.

  


Their fights had been so bad sometimes that Louis had actually thought about moving out a few times but hadn’t done it.

  


Two years after adopting Niall, Louis had wanted to adopt another child and Harry had agreed within seconds. He had also wanted to adopt another child and so they had driven to the orphanage once again.

  


Little Zayn Malik had been the lucky baby to be adopted. Zayn had been six weeks old and he had a familiar story as Niall. His parents had simply been too young to take care of him and so they had decided that it’d be for the best to give Zayn away. Zayn had black hair and brown eyes. He was a happy but shy kid who didn’t like to be away from his parents for too long. And so Zayn Malik had become Zayn Tomlinson and had been a full part of the family ever since.

  


The years had passed by and they had had their ups and downs but the kids were the reason why they were still together. Whenever Niall laughed the whole room lit up and Zayn was one of the most caring people in the world who always made sure that everyone was fine.

  


However two years after adopting Zayn, Harry and Louis had decided to complete their family with one more child. This was going to be their last child and so they had driven to the orphanage once again and had become parents of a two week old baby called Liam.

  


Liam had light brown hair and brown eyes and they both had fallen in love with him when they had seen him for the first time.

  


So, as you can see, Louis and Harry had a perfect family. They did everything they could to keep their kids happy and they would actually die for them. Harry and Louis were happier than ever because for once everything was just perfect.

  


Louis was working as a drama teacher at the local high school whilst Harry was very successful as a songwriter. Harry earned a lot of money but sometimes had to leave for a week or so to meet some important people in America but other than that he had a lot of time to play with his sons and to watch them grow up.

  


Louis loved his job. He had always wanted to be a drama teacher and the kids loved him as well because he was such a nice and funny teacher.

  
Niall, their oldest son, was a very happy kid. He was in first grade and loved school a lot. He had a lot of friends and was often invited to birthday parties or sleepovers at his friends’ houses.

  


Zayn was in preschool and he was a little bit quieter than his brother but also had some very good friends. He wasn’t as outgoing as Niall and loved to draw all of the time. Harry always told him that he was very talented and little Zayn loved to make his father’s happy by drawing pictures for them.

  


Liam was in daycare and got along with everyone very well. He was well behaved and acted a lot older than the other kids from time to time but he had a lot of friends and that was all that mattered.

  


The three brothers also got along with each other very well and Louis and Harry were happy about their life and family. They would get through everything because they had such a great bond as a family. Little did they know that some things were so much worse than they thought they were. Some things were so bad that not even family could keep you from falling apart.

  
**  


“Daddy wake up!” someone yelled into Louis’ ear before two small hands shook him.

  


“Hmmpfh…Niall what’s up?” Louis asked with a yawn as he looked at the clock that was standing on his nightstand and saw that it was only 6:15 on a Saturday morning.

  


“I’m hungry,” Niall whined as he climbed into the bed and pressed his small body between his daddies causing daddy Harry to stir.

  


“Five more minutes,” Louis mumbled already asleep again and buried his face into the pillow.

  


“Noo. I want pancakes. Please daddy,” the blond boy begged and Louis knew that he wouldn’t get any more sleep because when Niall was hungry he needed something to eat or otherwise he wasn’t going to stop whining.

  


“Alright come on but be quiet and let your brothers sleep,” Louis yawned before he sat up and looked at his blue eyed son who was smiling happily.

  


As Louis looked at his husband he couldn’t help but chuckle. The curly haired boy was still asleep, snoring softly. He could sleep through an earthquake if he was tired enough and so Louis decided to let him sleep for a little while longer and surprise him with some tasty pancakes because Harry had been up until three in the morning to write a song.

  


When Louis walked out of the bedroom he closed the door behind him before walking down the stairs and into the kitchen where Niall was already waiting impatiently.

  


“Let’s make some pancakes then,” Louis said and together he and Niall started to make breakfast.

  


“Can we go to the park today?” Niall asked as he watched his father mixing the pancake mix in a bowl.

  


“I think so,” Louis smiled at his oldest son and who let out a scream in excitement before putting his hands over his mouth, looking shocked. He was supposed to be quiet wasn’t he?

  
Louis only chuckled and ruffled his sons hair.  


“Can you put the plates on the table for me?” he asked the seven years old who quickly nodded and carried the plates over to the table carefully.

  


“Thank you love. Now let’s go and wake your daddy up,” Louis said and Niall was already out of the kitchen, running up the stairs to his father’s bedroom, pushing the door open and jumping on the bed.

  


“Wake up daddy!” he yelled and jumped on the bed, landing on Harry’s stomach before he burst into a fit of giggles.

  


Harry groaned loudly and cracked his eyes open just a little bit to see a blond boy sitting on top of him, smiling brightly.

  


“We made pancakes. You have to get up!” the boy told his father who turned his head and looked at his husband who was standing in the doorway, looking at the scene with a big smile on his face.

  


“Give me a minute, cupcake,” Harry mumbled tiredly.

  


“Niall why don’t you go downstairs? I’ll be there soon and daddy Harry is going to wake your brothers’ okay?” Louis suggested and the blond boy placed a kiss on his daddy’s cheek before running down the stairs and sitting down at the table.

  
*  


“Good morning baby,” Louis whispered softly and walked over to the bed before sitting down next to Harry and leaning down to place a soft kiss on his husbands’ lips.

  


“Morning,” Harry breathed out and smiled at his lover who was looking at him with hungry eyes.

  


Louis didn’t waste a second to climb up on Harry and straddled his lap, staring at him. The younger boy grunted loudly and opened his eyes to stare at Louis who was moving his hip on his lap. Harry groaned at the movements and bit his lip, knowing that one of his sons could walk in any second so he couldn’t make a sound. Louis raised his eyebrows and smirked, grinding a little harder on his lovers pajama bottom covered cock and groaned a little.

  


“Louis-,” Harry got interrupted by Louis’ lips on his. He could feel his husbands’ hands underneath his shirt, his fingers running down Harry’s fine muscled body.

  


Louis pulled away breathless and was about to pull Harry’s pants down as he heard Liam cry from his own bedroom.

  


“I love you!” Harry smiled at his husband who quickly got up and left the room, leaving a horny Harry behind.

  
*  


When Louis walked into Liam’s room he saw his youngest son curled up into a ball on his bed, his hands wrapped around his stuffed giraffe Caroline, crying loudly.

  


“Baby what’s wrong?” he asked softly and sat down next to Liam, putting a comforting hand on his back, rubbing it softly.

  


“Nightmare,” Liam sniffled and climbed into his father’s lap before burying his face into his shirt.

  


“Shhh, it’s okay. It was just a bad dream. Everything is alright,” Louis reassured his youngest son who was trembling in fear.

  


“You died,” Liam sobbed and buried his head further into Louis’ should and let himself cry.

  


Louis felt his own eyes water as he listened to his sons cries. No three year old kid should have horrible dreams like this.

  


“It’s okay buddy. It was just a dream. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here!”

  


Liam sniffled and looked at his father with an innocent look on his tear stained face.

  


“Promise?”

  


“Yes I promise that I’m not leaving you anytime soon. We’re all here and no one is going to leave.”

  


“What do you think about getting some breakfast? Niall and I made pancakes,” Louis told the three-year old boy hoping to get his mind away from the horrible nightmare.

  


“Pancakes!” Liam screamed excited and Louis laughed before picking the boy up and walking out of the room with Liam on his hip.

  


He stopped in front of his bedroom and opened the door only to see Harry getting out of the bed.

  


“Can you wake up Zayn for me? Liam’s had a bad dream,” he explained and pointed at the toddler in his arms who was hugging him tightly afraid to let go.

  


“Of course,” Harry smiled at his husband and youngest son before walking out of the room and walking over to Zayn’s bedroom that was just across the hall.

  
*  


The five-year old boy was still sleeping peacefully as Harry walked into his room.

  


“Good morning Zayn. It’s time to get up now,” Harry whispered and kissed Zayn softly on the forehead.

  


The little boy groaned before he opened his eyes and blinked a few times. He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes with his little fist and smiled when he saw his daddy sitting next to him.

  


“Good morning buddy.”

  


“Morning dad,” Zayn said with a yawn and quickly got out of bed when his daddy started to tickle him.

  


“Stop daaad,” the five year old said through giggles and ran out of the room and downstairs before his daddy could catch him.

  
*  


“So Niall asked me if we could go to the park today. What do you think?” Louis asked after they had finished eating breakfast.

  


Three pair of eyes lit up and Liam clapped his hands in excitement.

  


“Park, park, park,” he said happily and so the five of them decided to go to the park in the afternoon.

  
*  


“Boys put your coats and hats on,” Harry told his sons as they were standing in the hallway bouncing with excitement.

  


It wasn’t especially cold in the hallway, despite the fact that autumn had well and truly arrived in Holmes Chapel. Despite only nearing of October, frost clung to everything, making the town look almost other-worldly as the ice sparkled in the sun, contrasting beautifully with the deep reds and rich oranges of the fallen leaves. The wind was chill but the sun and blue sky made everything a lot more cheerful.

  


Glancing up at his husband Louis knelt down to help three year old Liam with his coat zip. Harry smiled softly as he watched Zayn pulling on his woolly hat, trying to get it to sit straight. He then pulled his new Super Mario gloves from his coat pocket, tongue poking out slightly in concentration as he tried to figure out how to put them on by himself.

  


Niall was already standing next to the door; hat and gloves on, the zip of his coat zipped while Louis put a hat on Liam’s head and helped the boy to get his gloves on.

  


“Noo I want the other hat. I want my “Cars” hat!” Liam protested and stomped his foot angrily before pulling the hat off his head.

  


His new hat from the Disney movie “Cars” that Louis had bought for Liam the other day was his most precious property at the moment. Whenever he got to put this hat on he felt like Lightning McQueen and ran around making car sounds.

  


“Liam you know that we put it into the washing machine yesterday,” Louis told his youngest son who didn’t look happy at all but seemed to understand that there was nothing he could do right now and so he didn’t say anything else.

  


Harry knelt down to help Zayn with his gloves pulling them on straight and kissing away the frown which marred his little forehead, confused at how he’d managed to get two fingers stuck in one glove finger.

  


“Alright are you all warm enough?” Harry questioned and looked at his three sons who nodded happily.

  


Louis leaned over to kiss Harry on the cheek, before he entwined their fingers with each other and followed Niall, Zayn and Liam out of the house. Niall and Zayn ran through the street, frozen leaves crunching 

loudly under their feet. The boys were chasing each other and laughing really loud while Louis and Harry were walking behind them, smiling at their sons.

  


Liam was holding tightly on Louis’ hand not wanting to let go and walked along the streets with his parents. As soon as the toddler spotted the park Liam started to drag his dads forward.

  


“Why don’t you run over to your brothers?” Harry asked and Liam tottered off as quickly as his little legs could carry him.

  


Harry and Louis smiled at their sons as they watched them running around. The boys always had so much energy. Louis hoped that this afternoon of running around would at least make bedtime a little bit easier.

  


“I love them so much,” Harry said to Louis as the couple sat down on a bench. The rays of autumn sunlight were hitting the back of their necks, a welcome and pleasant sensation over the winter chill that was already hanging in the air.

  


“I know you do. They are the best thing that has ever happened to us. Without them I would be nothing,” Louis told his husband who nodded in agreement before he snuggled closer to him while watching the three boys running after each other.

  


It was so amazing to see that the three boys got along with each other so well even though Liam was four years younger than his big brother Niall.

  


Niall didn’t mind playing with Zayn because Zayn was only a little bit younger and Zayn always made sure that Liam didn’t get left behind. Sometimes they played hide and seek at their house and Niall and Zayn knew a lot of places to hide but little Liam wasn’t so good in playing hide and seek yet because he always started to laugh when someone called his name and it had also happened before that he had simply yelled:” I’m hiding under the bed where you can’t see me!”

  


Niall and Zayn always pretended that they didn’t know where their brother was hiding and Liam loved all the attention that he got. He was also allowed to play with “big boy toys” like Niall called them. The blond boy loved all of his toys and Play mobile was one of his most favourite things at the moment. Liam was too small to play with the little things because he would put them down somewhere and no one would ever see them again but Zayn always handed Liam some of the figures.

  


The three year old didn’t really play with his brothers when they played games like this but he could sit next to them and that was all he was asking for.

  


Sitting on the cold hard bench, Harry felt restlessness in his legs that told him that he could use a break from sitting.

  


“I’m going to see what they are doing,” he announced before wandering over to where Niall was helping Liam into the little kid swing.

  


“Hey daddy,” Zayn greeted as he spotted his father.

  


Liam beamed at him, impatiently wriggling about to get the swing moving.

  


“Push me, Zaynie!” Liam squealed excitedly.

  


Zayn was just closed his hands around the chains when Harry said, “Take the next swings, boys. I’ll push you.”

  


Zayn and Niall quickly obeyed, sitting down on the flat swings next to their youngest brother and gripping the chains.

  


Harry pushed Niall only a little bit knowing that he could swing on his own already before he pushed on both of his son’s backs. They both swung forward and back and he pushed them again with slightly more force. Liam was already giggling with delight while Zayn watched his older brother bending and straightening his knees with each push.

  


“Come on Zayn you can do this. Just pump your legs,” Niall told his brother who did what he had been told.

  


Harry laughed along with his kids, completely lost in the moment. It was just him, his boys and this swing set. Everything else – the other kids and parents around him – faded away. Harry stood there for a long time, pushing Liam and watching Zayn and Liam who were both swinging very high, as he felt someone wrap his arms around his waist softly.

  


“I think it’s time to go home now. Liam should take a nap,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear and the younger boy hadn’t even realized that they had been at the playground for nearly one and a half hours already.

  


“Alright boys I think that it’s time to go home now. It’s getting late,” Louis told his sons and steadied the chains so that Zayn and Niall could climb off the swing while Harry helped Liam to get out of the kid swing.

  


“I’m tired daddy,” Liam whined and wrapped his arms around his father’s neck while resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.

  


Louis was now chasing Zayn and Niall, who didn’t seem to be tired at all, through the leaves while Liam’s eyes were drooping and before they even left the park he was asleep in his father’s arms.  
*  


After an eventful afternoon Harry and Louis decided to watch TV in their bedroom so that the kids could all cuddle with them.

  


“Can we watch cars?” Liam asked with big brown eyes and looked at his fathers who smiled at the three year old.

  


“I want to watch Peter Pan!” Zayn protested and Louis’ eyes lit up because even though he was a grown up man Peter Pan was one of the best movies ever.

  


“Noo I want to watch Cars!” Liam said angrily and Harry shot him a glare not wanting his youngest to throw a tantrum over a movie.

  


“I think Niall can choose the movie today,” Harry said and so the blond boy ran over to the shelf and came back with Finding Nemo in his hands.

  


“That’s a great choice buddy,” Louis told his son and so the five of them walked upstairs into Louis’ and Harry’s big bedroom.

  


As soon as the movie started Liam, Zayn and Niall hurried over to the bed. Harry placed Liam into his lap while Zayn settled himself into Harry’s side. He was soon bracketed on his other side as Louis hooked his arm around Harry’s shoulders.

  


Niall was sitting by his father’s legs too interested in the movie instead of cuddling. A few minutes after they had started to watch Finding Nemo Zayn felt himself being lifted from his warm cocoon between his parents and squealed in surprise. He was quickly deposited on Louis’ knee before being mercilessly tickled.

  


Zayn squirmed and wriggled, trying to get away from Louis’ hold but he couldn’t escape the tickling fingers no matter how hard he tried. He tried to tell his dad to stop but couldn’t get the words out of his mouth because he was laughing so hard. Harry chuckled as he watched the scene before him, father and son red-faced and breathless from laughing so hard. Liam was jiggling on his lap making squealing sounds while Niall only turned around once to send the rest of the family a glare because he really wanted to watch the movie.

  


“What are we going to do with them, huh?” Harry asked his youngest despairingly, kissing him softly on his temple.

  


“’kay, ‘kay!” Zayn panted, causing Louis to stop his tickle torture. Scooping him close, Louis hugged him tight before placing a kiss on Zayn’s soft hair.

  


A little while later Liam was about to fall asleep in Harry’s arms while Niall was still watching the movie with excitement. Zayn had lost interest in watching Finding Nemo as soon as the movie had started and was half on Louis’ lap, half crushed into his side, head resting against his chest, telling him how amazing the afternoon at the park had been.

  


“I think someone’ getting a little tired,” Harry said while nuzzling his nose against Liam’s cheek.

  


The three year old boy yawned in response and Zayn’s eyes were also drooping.

  


“Come one it’s getting late. Bath time and bedtime for you boys.”

  


Zayn rolled off the bed and dawdled across the room to take Louis’ outstretched hand, his own tiredness catching up on his after such an eventful day. He let Louis lead him down the hall as he scrubbed his small fist in his eyes to wake himself up, before his daddy picked him up to carry him down the stairs.

  
*  


After Liam, Zayn and Niall had showered and the bathroom was a mess, Louis and Harry made their way over to Liam’s bedroom, tucking the three year old boy in.

  
Liam quickly pressed his stuffed giraffe Caroline to his chest and smiled at his father and brother tiredly.  


“Good night LiLi,” Niall said and knelt down to press a kiss on Liam’s nose while Zayn ruffled his brother’s hair.

  


“Good night baby and if you have a bad dream just wake us up, okay?” Louis told his youngest son who nodded before he closed his eyes and was asleep before they had left the room.

  


Zayn followed his parents into his room, scrambling up onto his bed and burrowing under the covers. As Harry pulled her duvet up to his chin, tucking him in, he brushed a few bangs off his forehead before kissing him goodnight.

  


“Sleep tight Zaynie!” Niall said to his brother who smiled sleepily at him.

  


“Night,” he slurred drowsily, snuggling further into his pillow.

  


“Good night buddy,” Louis called softly from where he was standing watching the scene with delight, not wanting to disturb his son anymore, seeing that he was more than half asleep already.

  


The mumble he got from Zayn in reply Louis took to mean “Night Dad”, but it could have been anything really.

  
*  


After getting Niall to bed Harry and Louis walked into their own bedroom. They climbed back into bed, Louis leaning against Harry, who propped himself up against the headboard on top of the cover with his book.

  


Louis sighed happily as he got himself comfortable against Harry. He had the best family he could wish for. He’d loved every second of marriage and fatherhood so far. He felt so lucky, blessing the day Harry had become a Tomlinson. Glancing up at his husband who was reading a book, Louis closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep, dreaming about what happy memories the five of them would make together as the boys grew up and he and Harry grew old together not knowing that his life was going to turn into a nightmare very soon.

  
*  


“Louis can you get the boys up?” Harry shouted from the kitchen where he was making bacon for breakfast.

  


Louis folded the newspaper and took another sip of his coffee before watching at the clock and seeing that they were already late. Again. He quickly walked upstairs, into Niall’s bedroom waking the seven year old boy up knowing that he could ready himself.

  


After waking the blond boy up Louis made his way over to Zayn’s room.

  


“Zayn, time for breakfast. Your daddy made some bacon for us,” Louis told his son who didn’t even stir.

  


“Zayn come on we’re already late,” he said with an angry voice thinking that his son was just messing around because he often liked to pretend that he was still sleeping so that he could lie in bed for a little while longer.

  


He didn’t move again and so Louis walked to her bedside.

  


“Zayn?”

  


The boy was asleep but didn’t seem to hear his father at all. Louis reached down and shook his shoulder a little bit. Zayn tiredly opened his eyes and yawned loudly.

  


“’Lemme sleep,” he mumbled and rolled onto his back.

  


Louis brushed a few stands of black hair out of his face. Zayn’s forehead was hot against his fingers and his cheeks are bright pink. He pressed the back of his head against Zayn’s forehead and knew that the five year old had a fever.

  


“Do you feel okay, baby?” Louis asked gently and Zayn weakly shook his head.

  


“My head hurts and I’m tired,” the boy whispered and Louis nodded before he pulled the covers back up to his chin.

  


“Go back to sleep, Zayn,” Louis told his son who simply closed his eyes and fell back asleep after a few seconds.

  
*  


After Louis had woken up Liam he walked downstairs with the three year old boy and saw that Niall was already eating happily. The blond boy couldn’t resist food but when he saw his father entering the room without his other brother he looked up confused.

  


“Where is Zayn?” Harry, who had also noticed that one of the kids was missing, asked.

  


“He is sick and I told him to go back to sleep. Can you take care of him today?”

  


“Of course. I don’t have a meeting or anything else today so I’ll stay at home with him”, Harry told his husband who thanked him with a kiss before sitting down and starting to eat breakfast.

  


After they were all finished Niall walked upstairs to get dressed while Louis had to help Liam who always managed to put his clothes on the wrong way.

  


“See you later daddy,” Niall said to Harry as the curly haired boy handed him his lunch box and kissed his father on the cheek.

  


“Have a good day buddy.”

  


“We love you,” Louis told his husband and pecked him on the lips before Liam also kissed his daddy and the three of them walked out of the house leaving Harry and Zayn alone.

  
*  


Harry was sitting in the living room working on some lyric sheets when Zayn shuffled into the room.

  


Harry stopped working and looked up at his son who still looked sick.

  


“Zayn how are you feeling?”

  


The five year old boy just shrugged and shuffled towards him. Zayn climbed onto the couch and curled into Harry’s lap like he always did when he was sick. Harry rested his chin on his sons’ head and wrapped his arms around him but as his left arm tightened around his back, Zayn cried out and flinched.

  


Harry pulled away and lifted up the back of his shirt, revealing an angry looking bruise at Zayn’s shoulder.

  


“What happened here?” Harry asked curious not knowing how his son could’ve gotten a bruise like this.

  


Zayn shook his head and curled into his T-Shirt, he was asleep by the second chorus of one of the songs that Harry had written for a famous band one day.

  


Harry didn’t want to wake his son up so he took him back to bed, pulled the covers over Zayn’s small body and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before letting the kid sleep.

  


Later that day when Louis, Niall and Liam got home, Harry talked to his husband about the bruise on Zayn’s shoulder but the older man reassured him that it was nothing to worry about. Every kid got a bruise from playing or falling without even remembering and so Harry thought that his son was alright and that there was nothing to worry about.

  


Little did he know.

*  


Louis has always been an optimistic guy and after Harry had told him about the bruise on his son’s shoulder he hadn’t thought too long about it. Kids hit themselves or fell all of the time and so he was sure that this was the reason for the bruise on Zayn’s body.

  


At this moment he didn’t even in the slightest think about something else. He didn’t think that his son was sick and that he got worse with every day, with every minute that passed. Harry had always been the parent who was worried about everything.

  


Whenever Niall came home with a bleeding knee from tripping over his own leg he started to freak out, running into the bathroom to get the first-aid kit while Niall wasn’t even interested in getting a plaster on his knee. He had even thought about going to the hospital worrying about the fact that the wound might be infected but Louis had managed to calm him down before.

  
So Harry had been quite worried when he had seen the big bruise on Zayn’s shoulder but once again it had been Louis who had reassured him that their son was just fine and of course Harry had believed him because Louis was his husband and Louis was always right.  


The next day Zayn did feel a little bit better and so Harry was convinced that he had nothing but the flu and that he was going to be as good as new in a few days.

  
*  


“Daddy I’m so bored!” Niall whined on the next weekend when he walked into the kitchen where Louis was currently drinking his tea.

  


“Why don’t you play with your brothers?” Louis asked a little bit confused because normally his son loved to play with his younger siblings.

  


“Liam is colouring with Papa and Zayn always says that he is tired and that he doesn’t want to play because his back is hurting him,” the blond boy explained and Louis quickly got up and walked into the living room where he found his five year old son lying on the couch, curled into a ball.

  


“Zayn what’s up?” he asked worried and sat down next to his son, brushing his hand through his hair while Niall stood next to him and eyed his brother carefully.

  


“I don’t feel too good, Daddy,” the raven haired boy said and when Louis lifted up his sons shirt he gasped in shock.

  


Zayn’s back was covered in bruises. Some of them were already fading while some others were looking quite new and very painful.

  


“Zayn what happened to your back? Did you have a fight with someone? Did someone hurt you there?”

  


“No daddy. I’m tired!” the boy mumbled and closed his eyes.

  


It was the time where Louis was starting to worry. He knew that something was seriously wrong and so he told Niall to stay with his brother while he walked upstairs to talk to Harry. He knew that his husband would freak out but he also knew that they really needed to see a doctor.

  
*  


Harry was sitting on the floor in Liam’s room coloring with his three year old son as the door was being opened and Louis walked in with a worried expression on his face.

  


“Look daddy we’re coloring,” Liam told his father and showed him the picture that he had been working on.

  


The little boy didn’t see the worry written over his father’s face and turned back to his picture while Harry got up and followed Louis out of the room.

  


“What’s wrong?” he asked as soon as he had closed the door behind him.

  


“There is something wrong with Zayn. We need to see a doctor,” Louis simply told his husband still not assuming that their lives were never going to be the same again.

  
*  


An hour later they were sitting in the hospital waiting room. Everything was white and smelled like disinfectant. Louis was talking to a nurse, signing them in while Zayn was sitting on his father’s lap the man refusing to let go of his son.

  


Liam was sitting next to his father still not knowing what was going on or why they were at the hospital while Niall was a lot quieter than usual his seven-year old mind already realizing that something wasn’t right.

  


Zayn was fast asleep in his father’s arms. His head was pressed against Harry’s chest and Harry repeatedly ran a hand through his soft, black hair. He placed his hand on Zayn’s forehead which wasn’t hot but warm to the touch. His son’s face looked exhausted and as pale as a ghost and Harry wondered if he just hadn’t seen this before or if he had been too blind to notice that Zayn was sick because Louis had told him that he was just fine.

  


Of course Zayn had caught the flu a few times already. He actually got sick quite easily. He had the flu every winter and almost every spring he caught at least one cold but this time it seemed to be more than just the flu. Normally when Zayn was sick he still wanted some action but when he hadn’t been in school earlier this week he had spent the whole day on sleeping.

  


When Louis walked back over to his husband he placed Liam on his lap and Niall snuggled close to him. Toy Story 2 was playing on the little TV and they all watched the movie together and at least Niall and Liam could laugh a little bit while Harry and Louis were worrying more and more.

  


With every minute that passed Harry got more nervous. He fidgeted nervously with a charm on his necklace while Louis flipped absently through a magazine with Liam. They had been waiting for what felt like forever when their name was called by a young nurse.

  


Harry carried Zayn into the examination room while the rest of the family followed. The room was small with a soft table and a few chairs pressed against the walls.

  


“Look daddy it’s a giraffe,” Liam told his fathers as he pointed at one of the posters that was hanging on the walls.

  


Louis and Harry both just smiled at their son not knowing what to say. They were too nervous at the moment. A few minutes later a nice looking man walked into the room.

  


“Hello my name is Doctor Mason,” the man introduced himself before he continued “What symptoms does your son have?”

  


“He felt sick earlier this week and is unusually tired. There also are these bruises on his back which worry me the most,” Louis explained and Dr. Mason lifted up Zayn’s shirt to look at the bruises before writing something down in his note pad.

  


“I think it’d be the best if I would take a blood sample and send it to the laboratory. Then we will know for sure,” the doctor said and Harry gulped and nodded.

  


“So there is something that you think it could be?”

  


“We are going to figure this out very soon.”

  


Both Harry and Louis knew that the Doctor was thinking about something that he didn’t want to tell but right now there were too worried about their son.

  


It took Louis a long time to wake Zayn up and when the boy was finally awake he got quite scared.

  


“Are they going to give me a syringe?” he asked and looked frightened from Harry to Louis.

  


“Hey love, don’t cry,” Louis reassured his son and wiped the tears away from his face with his thumb.

  


“But I’m scared,” the five year old boy argued and looked at the doctor with fearful eyes.

  


“It won’t hurt you,” Harry said and hugged his son carefully not wanting to hurt him.

  


“Promise?”

  


“Pinky promise,” Louis replied and Zayn squeezed Louis’s hand when the doctor cleaned his upper arm and took the syringe into his hands.

  


Zayn whimpered and closed his eyes tightly as the needed was being pushed into his arm. Both Louis and Harry were rubbing comforting circles on his back. They hated to see their son in so much pain and would’ve taken it for him instantly if they could. But all they could do right now was holding Zayn close and whispering comforting words into his ear.

  


Once the doctor was done he told them that they would get the results in a few minutes and so Harry, Louis and the kids waited.

  
*  


“Leukemia.”

  


Louis and Harry needed a moment to catch up with what the doctor had just told them. Leukemia, cancer. Not just the flu or a bad cold. Their five year old boy had cancer. The words passed through their world like a ghost, destroying everything from one second to another.

  


It was the one thing that Louis had hoped they weren’t going to hear. He had had a bad feeling as soon as he had seen the amount of bruises on his son’s back but he had never thought that this would happen to their family. It didn’t just infect their son but snatched away every aspect of life for all of them.

  


Harry started to cry while Louis just stared at the doctor in shock, his life crashing in front of his eyes. Zayn didn’t really understand what was going on or why his fathers were crying whilst Niall only knew that cancer was bad, but only old people got it, so he wasn’t really worried. But his parents were upset and that was kind of scary.

  


“So what now?” Louis whispered broken trying to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat.

  


“With the right treatment we think that he will be able to get through this but there is never a full guarantee for full recovery. I’m so sorry to tell you this, this is the downfall of the job. You were so right to bring him in when you did!” Dr. Mason told the two fathers.

  


Standing up quickly Harry shook his head harshly.

  


“I think you are wrong. My son doesn’t have cancer. He doesn’t, okay? You have the wrong file! You got this wrong. I’ll sit and wait for you to correct your mistakes! Zayn..doesn’t have..cancer!” he shouted before falling to his knees in heart-breaking sobs, resting his face in his hands, sobbing hysterically.

  


“He can’t have cancer,.. he is only five years old. Just five! Please!”

  


It was Louis who knelt down next to his sobbing husband, rubbing his back softly knowing that he had to keep it together for the sake of their kids who were looking so scared at the scene in front of them.

  


“I’m so sorry but we’re going to do everything we can to keep him alive. I know it’s not fair that kids have to get sick with such an illness but I am going to do everything in my power to help your boy. I’m going to be there to help him with everything he needs. This is promise that I’m making as a father, not just as a doctor!”

  


“When do we start?”

  


“As soon as we can. I’d like to keep him here so that we can start the treatment tomorrow” Dr. Mason said and Harry and Louis both agreed.

  


“Can we stay with him?”

  


“We have a few family rooms where one parents is allowed to be with his kid so one of you can stay with him. You can visit him all day and during the night only one of you is allowed to be there. You can change for sure” he explained and both Louis and Harry didn’t need to discuss this. They were going to stay at Zayn’s side.

  
*  


A nurse walked into the room and told the family to follow her. Liam was excited to know where they were going and followed the nurse happily while Niall didn’t say anything. Something was wrong here and he could see the distraught look on his father’s faces and so he didn’t ask them. Louis was carrying Zayn who looked scared and sick. Harry and Louis were holding hands, trying to comfort each other a little bit but it didn’t help.

  


The nurse led them into a single room on the fifth floor of the hospital. The walls were painted in a bright orange and many drawings and posters were pinned up there and it didn’t seem cold or bleak like hospitals usually did. But then Harry remembered that this wasn’t a normal ward after all. It was for kids who shouldn’t be stuck in this place. Kids, who were too young, too small to go through something like that.

  


“That’s the room,” the nurse said and pushed the door open. The room was painted in a beautiful light blue colour with various animals. The sheets on the bed were in a light yellow color with tons of butterflies and one big window flooded the room with sunlight.

  


“Daddy why are we here?” Zayn asked as he looked around the room with big, curious eyes and Harry and Louis looked at each other not really knowing what to say.

  
“I think I’ll leave you alone for a little while. Do you want me to take the other kids with me?”  


“That’d be great. We’d like to talk to Zayn first if that’s possible,” Louis said and so the nurse guided Niall and a now crying Liam out of the room.

  
When they were alone Louis sat down on the bed and placed Zayn gently on the sheets.  


“Do I have to stay here?” Zayn asked and his bottom lip quivered.

  


“Yes you have to. You are very sick and the people here will help you to get better.

  


“Wanna go home” Zayn mumbled while Louis brushed some of his hair out of his face.

  


“I know babe but you have to stay here for a little while” the younger man said and felt horrible as his son started to cry.

  


“I don’t want to Papa” he cried weakly and Louis pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

  


“I know babe but Daddy or Papa are always going to be here. You won’t be alone but the doctors have to make you feel better”

  


“Promise?” the five year old boy asked and yawned before he closed his eyes.

  


“I promise” Harry whispered and knew that the following weeks were going to be really hard.

  


“Try to get some sleep now angel. We’ll be here when you wake up!” Harry whispered before he pulled the blankets of his son’s body and watched as Zayn closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

  


When Zayn was asleep Harry and Louis both looked at each other for a second before they hugged each other tightly. Harry was sobbing into Louis’ chest and the older boy try to calm his lover down but it didn’t work.

  


“He is too young,” the younger boy whispered brokenly and Louis kissed the top of Harry’s head softly.

  


“Shh. It’s alright babe. We’ll get through this. Zayn is strong but we have to be strong as well!”

  


Harry turned to face his husband. Tears were running down his face as he whispered:” How can I stay strong when I see that my son is that sick?”

  


Louis didn’t know what to say because he also had no idea how they were going to get through this. He didn’t know what was going to happen and it wasn’t up to him to fight the illness in his body. It was Zayn, their five year old son, who needed to stay strong, who needed to fight for his life. Louis knew that Zayn was strong but he didn’t know if Zayn was strong enough to fight cancer at his young age.

  


Of course Louis felt just as lost as Harry but he knew that he couldn’t break down. Harry would lose it completely if he broke down. Louis reached for Harry’s hand, he looked at him with tears streaming down his face.

  


“He is going to be fine,” Louis told him, squeezing his hand, “He’s going to get treatment, and he’s going to get better and then this will all seem like a bad dream.”

  


“I don’t want to leave him alone. How are we going to do this?”

  


It was a question that Louis couldn’t answer. He didn’t want to leave Zayn either. The boy was young and scared. He had just found out that he had to stay here and was probably scared to death. There were so many people around him that he didn’t know and so Louis wanted to stay at Zayn’s side but it wasn’t that easy.

  


They had two other kids, Niall and Liam, who needed them. They were only three and seven years old and had to go to school and daycare. Louis had to work from Monday to Friday and Harry normally didn’t have time either. He always had meeting with artists or had to attend a meeting somewhere else around the UK or even the US from time to time.

  


“You stay with him tonight and then we’ll figure something out,” Louis told his husband knowing that he had to go to work in the morning. “I’ll take the boys home now if that’s okay. Call me if you need anything. I love you babe!”

  


Louis and Harry shared an emotional kiss and then Louis got up, placed a kiss on Zayn’s forehead and left the room.

  
*  


“Boys please sit down for a minute. We have to talk to you,” Louis said later that day while his sons were playing with their Lego and the two kids hurried over to the couch where they sat down.

  


“We’ve been in the hospital today because Zayn is quite sick. He is tired and there are these bruises on his body. The doctor told us it’s cancer,” Louis explained and it was Niall who interrupted his dad.

  


“But only old people get cancer!” the seven year old boy said and Louis felt his heart break as he shook his head and saw the shocked expression on Niall’s face.

  


“Sometimes kids also get cancer, snowflake,” Louis said and reached his arms out for Liam to sit on his lap.

  


“Is he going to die like the old man who got cancer?” the seven year old boy asked innocently and Louis only shook his head while Liam was sniffling.

  


“He has to be very strong right now. We all have to be strong. Either daddy or I are going to stay with him at the hospital. It’s going to be a rough time but we’ll get through this is a family!”

  
*  


Zayn could pick out soft snoring. Opening his eyes slowly he saw colored walls full of painted animals. The sight made him smile slightly but then looking around he realized that he wasn’t at home. His daddy Harry was sleeping next to him, his head resting on Zayn’s blanket. Why was he here? He didn’t feel ill but when he moved the pain came back, making him cry out in agony as he moved his back too fast.

  


His father was awake in a second, blinking tiredly before looking at Zayn alarmed.

  


“Shh calm down Zayn, I’m right here. We’re going to get you some medicine. The pain will be gone soon,” Harry tried to reassure his son whilst pressing the button to call the nurse. It was already dark outside and when he looked at the clock he realized that it was close to midnight already.

  


A friendly looking nurse came into the room and put some medication into the tubes linking to Zayn’s arm which had been placed there while he had been sleeping. The pain subsided slightly and Zayn relaxed a little bit.

  


“I wanna go home,” he mumbled and tried to hold back the tears.

  


“I know you want to but you have to stay here for a little while longer,” Harry said and ran his hand through Zayn’s hair.

  


“Stay with me daddy?” Zayn asked with a pleading voice.

  


“There is no place where I would rather be. Go back to sleep now babe!” Harry said and after a minute of begging he got into the bed with his son and held him close while they both drifted into a world where no one was sick and where every dream came true.

  
*  


A few miles away from the hospital Louis was still wide awake. He wasn’t used to sleeping alone in the bed that he shared with Harry. It was too quiet in the house because Niall and Liam were asleep and he just missed his husband and son.

  


He had tried to stay strong today because he knew that he couldn’t break down. He didn’t want to break down in front of Harry because Harry would lose it completely and he also didn’t want to break down in front of his kids because they were supposed to be happy.

  


Niall had been quiet all evening and even though Liam, who was still too young to understand what was going on, had played. He had always asked where Harry and Zayn where and why no one was playing with him.

  


He had thrown a fit after a little while but Louis had been too drained to actually blame him. Liam was only three years old. He didn’t understand the meaning of having cancer or fighting for a life.

  


Words couldn’t describe what was going on inside Louis’ head. He was scared, afraid, terrified because what if Zayn didn’t survive? He didn’t want to think about it but he couldn’t help it. He imagined staying at a graveyard looking at the grave of his five year old son and Louis knew that there was nothing he could he. He couldn’t help Zayn to get through this and he doubted that there was anything that Zayn could do.

  


He was only five years old he didn’t understand. It was up to Zayn’s body. Louis knew that they would try everything to get through this but seeing his son so sick made him feel bad. He would do anything to take his son’s pain away but all he could do was watching and praying.

  


Watching his son suffer and praying that he was going to be alright.

  


“Papa?” a small voice asked and he knew that it was Niall who was standing in the doorway.

  


“What’s wrong Nialler?” he asked and the blonde boy just ran over to him and crawled into the bed and clung to him.

  


“I can’t sleep” Niall mumbled and Louis knew that the boy needed comfort right now so he ran his hand up and down Niall’s spine and hummed softly.

  


It didn’t take long until the door opened again and Liam walked into the room. It was dark but Louis could hear him sniffling and knew that he was crying as well.

  


He moved a little bit so that they all had enough space in the bed and continued to hum. Niall had fallen asleep but Liam was still wide awake.

  


“I’m scared Papa” he whispered and Louis kissed the top of Liam’s head before he answered.

  


“We all are babe. We should try to get some sleep now.”

  
*  


The first thing that Louis became aware of the next morning was that there was someone lying next to him. For a second he thought that it was Harry and that all of this had been nothing but a bad dream but when he turned around he saw Liam and Niall cuddling together on Harry’s side of the bed and then everything came rushing back into his mind.

  


His five year old son had been diagnosed with Leukemia a day ago, his husband was staying at the hospital with him and he needed to go to work even though he didn’t really want to. He wanted to drive to the hospital, to hold Zayn close to his chest, to hug and kiss him but this had to wait. The five year old boy was going to get his first chemotherapy today and Louis prayed to god that this was going to work.

  


He couldn’t imagine a life without his son. It was too much to think about. He got up and walked into the bathroom to get ready. When he looked at himself in the mirror he saw a man who had gotten older overnight.

  


There were dark circles underneath his still red and puffy eyes and he already had a headache but he knew that he couldn’t stay at home so he got into the shower and changed into his clothes before going downstairs to prepare breakfast.

  


On his way he quickly woke up Niall and Liam and told them to get up. Niall usually got ready himself while Liam always needed help but today Louis told Niall that he should help his brother because they were already late.

  


Normally Harry would do this but today everything was different. As Louis waited for the water to boil his attention was caught by one of their family snapshots he’d stuck up on the fridge; the five of them were standing in front of the big tree in front of the house, smiling at the camera and Louis couldn’t help but smile in response. He traced his fingers over Zayn’s face in the picture; his beautiful son. He was so proud of his family. He had always dreamed of this; marrying Harry, settling down in a house with a white-picket fence, having kids, safe and happy, a life full of joy and laughter. But his dreams had been destroyed yesterday after they had received the horrible news that their son was sick with cancer, that there was a chance that he could die.

  


Louis didn’t even want to think about a life without his son. He had raised Zayn with Harry. They were his parents and Zayn was the person he was today just because of them. He was their son even though they had adopted him but there had never been a second where they had regretted adopting the boy.

  


Louis’ gaze snapped onto the next picture next to the photgraph, Zayn’s somewhat wonky looking but charming drawing of the house and their family standing in front of it just like on the photograph. Zayn had drawn this picture over five months ago and it had been stuck on the fridge door ever since. The edges were curling slightly and the drawing wasn’t that great but Louis still loved the picture. For him it was the greatest work of art.

  


The father was pulled out of his thought by Niall and Liam walking into the kitchen.

  


“Dad we have to hurry up. We’re going to be late,” Niall stated as he looked at the clock and Louis knew that his son was right.

  
*  


Harry had left the room for a minute to get himself something to eat. Zayn had still been sleeping and so he had decided to go to the cafeteria and get himself something to eat.

  
When he walked back into the room he found Zayn sitting up in bed, looking at the tray that was placed in front of him. It was nothing but a slice of bread and some marmalade.  


“How are you feeling? Are you in pain? Are you comfortable?” Harry asked and rushed over to Zayn’s side.

  


“Not hungry,” Zayn said and leaned back against the pillows not wanting to eat at all.

  


Harry didn’t want to force Zayn to eat and so he let go of the subject knowing that they would take Zayn to chemotherapy soon.

  


He knew that it was a chance for his son to get better, to fight against the illness but it was also the last hope for them.

  
**  


“It’s time now,” a nurse said as she walked into the room and Harry nodded before turning to face his five year old son who was sitting in his hospital bed staring down at the tray of food in front of him.

  


“Zayn they are going to take you to therapy now. Don’t be afraid baby. You’re going to be okay,” Harry said and ran his hand through Zayn’s hair and kissed him on the forehead.

  
Zayn looked at his father with big, brown, innocent eyes and his bottom lip started to tremble because he was scared. He didn’t want to be alone.  


“Don’t leave me!” he begged and Harry felt his heart break. Of course his baby boy was scared. He was in hospital, there were a lot of people who looked scary to him and he didn’t understand that he was actually here to get better. The five year old thought that they were all going to hurt him instead of helping him to get better.

  


“I can’t come with you but I promise that I’ll be right here when you come back.”

  


Zayn let a few tears roll down his cheeks but his daddy quickly wiped them away and hugged the boy tight as the nurse walked back into the room with a wheelchair.

  


“Don’t worry darling,” she said with an encouraging smile and Harry helped his son into the wheelchair, hating to see the boy so vulnerable.

  


The nurse pushed the wheelchair out of the room and Harry was alone for the first time since yesterday. He started to cry as soon as the door was closed and prayed to god that his son was going to be okay because he couldn’t lose him. Zayn was one of his children and he couldn’t imagine a life without any of them. It wasn’t fair that the boy was stuck in hospital with a horrible disease like cancer.

  


Harry wanted to call his husband, wanted Louis to hold him, needed someone to tell him to stay strong but he knew that Louis was at work right now and so he simply sent him a text telling him that they had just started chemotherapy.

  


Zayn got back to the room a few hours later and started throwing up as soon as he was back in bed. It was typical to throw up after treatment but painful for Harry to see his son like that.

  


He held the bin in front of Zayn’s face, holding him upright so that he could vomit because the boy was too weak to even sit, the therapy leaving him weak. The boy was crying silently and kept his eyes shut tight not wanting to see the vomit in the bin.

  


When it was finally over, Zayn crawled into Harry’s lap and curled into his lap knowing that he was safe here. Harry wrapped his arms around him as he placed his head against his breast bone, waiting…

  
*  


Louis had had a horrible day. He was tired but knew that he couldn’t get some rest now. He needed to pick Niall and Liam up before driving to the hospital to stay with Zayn during the night.  


“Hello Mr. Tomlinson,” Mrs. Baker, Niall’s teacher, smiled as he walked into Niall’s classroom.

  


Louis smiled back at her and was about to say something as Niall crashed into him hugging his father like never before.

  


“How is Zaynie?” the blond boy asked probably hoping that his father would tell his that he was alright again.

  


“I don’t know,” Louis told his son and hated to see the sadness written all over Niall’s face. No kid should be this sad.

  


“Let’s pick Liam up and then we can drive to the hospital to visit your brother.”

  
*  


Zayn had just woken up from his nap when Liam, Niall and his daddy walked into the room.

  


“Zaynie,” Liam yelled happily and jumped on the bed, hugging his brother carefully like he had been told.

  


“Hey,” the raven haired boy said with a raspy voice and tried to smile a bit but found himself too tired to do so.

  


“Hey babe,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear as he hugged his husband and kissed him on the lips passionately. Harry looked exhausted. He looked like he could pass out any second and Louis knew that it was 

horrible for the man to see his son sick like that.

  


It was horrible for all of them and it was very exhausting. Louis had barely slept at night and he was longing to get some sleep but figured that he probably wasn’t going to sleep much tonight either.

  


“Hey kiddo how are you feeling?” Louis questioned as he sat down next to his son and Zayn smiled tiredly.

  


“I’m tired Papa,” the boy whined and Louis ran his hand through Zayn’s hair trying to comfort the upset and confused boy

.  


“Have you eaten anything?” Louis asked and both Zayn and Harry shook their heads.

  


“He didn’t want to eat breakfast and started throwing up after therapy,” Harry told his husband who nodded his head.

  


“How long am I going to be here?”

  


“Awhile,” Harry croaked and had to fight the tears once again.

  


“I’m going to visit you as often as I can!” Niall said and smiled at his younger brother.

  


“Me too,” Liam agreed.

  


“I think we should go home right now. Papa Louis is going to stay with you tonight and I’ll be here tomorrow morning,” Harry told his son who looked like he was about to fall asleep any second.  


“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis said and kissed his husband goodbye before telling Liam and Niall to behave.

  


He didn’t know what was going to happen but he knew that it was going to be a long night.

  
*  


When Harry, Liam and Niall got home Harry wanted to go to bed and sleep for a few hours but of course the kids had other plans.

  


“I’m hungry!” Liam whined as soon as they walked into the house and Harry realized that he hadn’t eaten anything in a long time.

  


“Liam why don’t you draw a picture for Zayn while Niall does his homework and I start making dinner?” he questioned and luckily the boys agreed and so Harry could make dinner without getting disturbed by crying or fighting kids.

  


All of the time he kept staring at his phone always worried that Louis was going to call him and tell him that Zayn had gotten worse.

  


This night Harry put Niall and Liam to bed at 8 o’clock and went to bed straight afterwards.

  
*  


Louis is having a hard time trying to convince Zayn to eat his dinner.

  


“Please you have to eat something baby,” he sighed and threw his hands in the air not knowing what else to say.

  


“I’m tired, papy,” Zayn answered yawning.

  


“Dinner first!” Louis said with a strict voice, arms folded across his chest.

  


“I’m so tired.”

  


“Please eat, kid,” he whispered but Zayn’s eyelids had already started to droop so Louis pulled the tray off his lap and set it on the table beside him. He watched him sleep and the nurse that walked into the room watched Louis watching his son. She saw the darkening circles under his eyes and the way he blinked slowly trying to rest but not fall asleep.

  


“You should get some rest,” she whispered and Louis nodded. She was probably right. He needed to get some sleep. When Louis tried to fall asleep he listened to Zayn’s breathing and fell asleep with the thought that everything was going to be okay again.

  
*  


The next morning after Harry drove Liam and Niall to kindergarten and school he quickly drove to the hospital knowing that Louis had to be at work for the 2nd hour.

  


He walked into the room at eight in the morning with a bag of muffins from the grocery store and two large coffees in his hands. He placed them on the table and smiled a little bit as he looked at his husband and son. Louis was curled up on the sofa, probably having only slept for a few hours. He had dark circles underneath his eyes and his hair was spiked in every direction. Harry couldn’t help but remember about their wedding. They had been wearing matching black tuxes and guest had hit them with handfuls of rice. Louis had always been a special person in Harry’s life and he won’t ever forget the day where he had become a Tomlinson.

  


It had been one of the best days in his life just like they days were they had adopted their sons. These days had simply been the best day of his life.

  


Harry woke Louis up and handed him the muffins and a coffee.

  


“How’s everything at home?” Louis asked with a yawn.

  


“The boys are confused and scared so I let them sleep in our bed tonight. Niall asks a lot of questions and Liam knows that something is going on but he doesn’t completely understand. He had a nightmare again tonight and it took me a long time to put him back to sleep. What about you? Are you okay?”

  


“Yes,” Louis said wiping the sleep out of his eyes. “Just tired.”

  


Harry ran a hand through Louis’ soft, uncombed hair and the older man leaned into his shoulder. They both sat there for a few minutes and looked at their five year old son who was still sleeping peacefully.  


“I hate to leave him,” Louis told his husband after he checked his watch and realized that he had to leave now.

  


“He’s not alone. I’m here. Go and get some rest tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow!”

  


“Give him a hug from me and call me! I love you.”

  


“Love you too!”

  
*  


Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into day and days turned into weeks. They lived like that for exactly four weeks until the first round of chemotherapy was over and they were allowed to go home for two weeks.

  


Zayn was very weak and his fathers were tired. Not a single day passed without them crying or praying to god to put them out of their misery. The two of them had barely seen each other and they can tell that Liam and Niall are suffering as well.

  


Of course they tried to spend a lot of time with their other sons but when they finally got home after a long day at the hospital they were so tired that they just wanted to sleep and so Harry had broken his promise about going to the cinema with Liam and Niall to watch the new Disney movie and Louis had broken his promise about going to the Zoo with the two of them.

  


Harry also had some trouble with work because he was supposed to write some new songs but didn’t have the time and so some of the musicians had already told him that they didn’t need him anymore and it made Harry feel even more depressed because he loved his job and didn’t want to lose it.

  


Being home was more fun than being at the hospital because it meant that they could spend time together again. Zayn was weak and so they had a wheelchair for him now but the five year old boy insisted to walk through the house on his own.

  


Zayn spent his day watching TV, drawing and sleeping while Louis and Harry did everything in their power to good food into the five year old. Niall read to him and Liam from time to time and the whole atmosphere in the house was happier again.

  


Of course Zayn was still sick but having him home meant having a little bit of normalcy.

  


A few days after Zayn had been allowed to go home his dad was brushing his hair when a chunk fell off his head and onto his lap. All Harry did was staring at it while tears welled up in his eyes, again. Zayn was shocked as Harry told him that all of his hair was going to fall out. That was impossible. He was going to be bald? How could this happen?

  


When Louis got home Harry told him what happened. The older male sighed and closed his eyes for a moment before going upstairs and grabbing a razor. Zayn cried while they shaved his head and all of his hear littered the ground around him.

  


“Where did Zayn’s hair go?” Liam asked that night when they were eating dinner.

  


“He lost it because of his cancer. People lose their hair because of therapy,” Harry explained and Liam looked upset for a moment before he walked into the hallway and searched for his “cars” hat that he loved so much.

  


“If you put it on you look like Lightning McQueen and no one will care about your hair,” the three year old boy said and Harry dropped a bitter tear as Zayn pulled his little brother close and placed a kiss on his cheek.

  


The day before Zayn had to go back to hospital they all sleep in one bed again and Zayn promised them to fight even harder now.

  
*  


It had been six weeks since Louis and Harry had discovered that cancer was ravaging their son’s body. The five year old had been diagnosed with Leukemia. Zayn had been constantly sick from the chemo and radiation and had lost all of his hair.

  


The chemo had helped them to push back the aggressive cancer. It had been along month but Zayn had even gained the urge to eat. Not as much as he should’ve but they had remained hopeful and during their time at home he had actually gained a little bit of weight but now they were back at the hospital to start the second round of chemotherapy and things didn’t look good.

  


Little Zayn wasn’t really hungry and when he ate something he threw up afterwards not being able to hold the food down. He was so fragile and vulnerable that Louis was sometimes even scared to hug the boy not wanting to hurt him or maybe even break one of his bones.

  


The two fathers tried again to make things work between them. Harry was at Zayn’s side most of the time while Louis took care of Liam and Niall. The curly haired boy was close to losing his job because he just didn’t have the time to sit down and write songs for people or to meet up with managers from celebrities. Right now he had other things to worry about.

  


When Zayn’s recovery took longer than it should they ran more tests with horrible results.

  


“I’m so sorry to tell you but it looks like the therapy didn’t work. Her cancer is now stage 3. We’re going to start on a new treatment plan for him.”

  


Harry and Louis looked older and Zayn looked weaker. His eyes weren’t as shining as normal and his cheeks weren’t pink anymore. He kept losing weight and was getting worse and worse as time progressed. They knew despites their greatest effort the boys wasn’t doing as well as he should have been. His body was failing him.

  


Between sickness and treatments the family had been run ragged.

  


Louis was stressed out all the time and Harry was always with Zayn. He wouldn’t let the boy out of his sight, soaking up each moment with him. Trying to experience every milestone that could in the time that they had together. Zayn kept losing weight no matter how much he ate and he was tired all of the time. He fell asleep by seven and Harry looked like he was about to die.

  
One day Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him into the small bathroom that was attached to Zayn’s room. The second the door was closed he started kissing him.  
“I’m so tired,” Harry whispered leaning so close to Louis’ ear that he can feel his lips and hot breath against his skin.  
“We’re going to get through this together!” Louis promised that day and for once Harry didn’t believe into what Louis was saying. He could feel that they were losing their son and also their relationship.  
Things weren’t easy anymore and you can only be strong for an amount of time but once you feel like everything gets too much it gets worse and worse and then you just break down and Harry had been strong for such a long time already watching his son throw up, watching the boy crying from being too weak to walk, seeing him getting thinner and thinner.  
Harry and Louis couldn’t help but to worry about Zayn. It seemed as if his eyes were permanently black from the dark circles that hung under them these days.  
Liam and Niall weren’t allowed to visit their brother anymore because Louis didn’t want them to see Zayn like that. They were crying so much and had nightmares and so he didn’t want to do this to them.  
“You can visit him when he’s doing a little bit better!” Louis always told them and one day it was Liam who handed him something he had drawn in kindergarten and when Louis looked at his he couldn’t help but cry as well.  
There on the picture were Harry and Louis holding hands, Liam and Niall standing next to them and up in the sky was Zayn looking down to them like an angel.  
“Daddy we have to write our wishes for Santa,” Niall said one day in early December. Louis and Harry hadn’t even thought about Christmas at all but of course they didn’t want to disappoint their sons and so Niall and Liam both wrote letters to Santa Clause. Niall had to help his younger brother and later that night when the boys were asleep Louis sat down to read the letters.  
Dear Santa,  
I don’t want you to get me something this year. Please just make my little brother healthy again. I want him to be home with me and my brother and I want my parents to be home as well. I want them to smile again and to spend time with us so please make my wish come true.  
Yours Niall  
Louis couldn’t help but cry as he read this letter. He knew that Niall missed them because they barely spent time together and he knew that this needed to change.  
Santa,  
Make Daddy and Papa smile again and bring Zaynie home. He’s sick but I don’t like this.  
Liam  
Louis cried even harder after reading Liam's letter. Both boys whished for Zayn to be home. This night he prayed to god and wished for his son to be home soon.  
*  
“Shh Zayn I’m here. It’s okay,” Louis whispered and he looks up at him. Zayn suddenly looked sick and Louis only just managed to get the bucket in front of him before he threw up again.  
“Where’s daddy?” he coughed and Louis rubbed his back.  
“He’ll be here soon. How do you feel?”  
“I want to die,” Zayn muttered and Louis pulled away from his chest and looked at her with a shocked expression written all over his face.  
“Don’t you ever say that. You are alive and I’ll do whatever I can do to keep it that way!”  
Zayn started to cry and Louis held him for a long time, listening to his sons steady heartbeat whilst rubbing his back which calmed the boy down.  
“Get some rest now,” Louis said sweetly before Zayn fell asleep.  
“How is he?” Harry asked as he walked into the room a few minutes later.  
“Not getting better at all,” Louis whispered and for the first time in weeks Harry saw his husband break down in front of him.  
Louis had tried so hard to be strong for Harry and for his kids. He had barely cried at all but now he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as he saw his son getting weaker and weaker with every minute that passed.  
Knowing that he needed to get himself together before Harry started freaking out Louis stormed out of the room to clear his head.  
Louis sat alone in the stairwell for a while, hating everything. He hated the cancer that was attacking his son, hated himself for not seeing it sooner and hated god for making his son so sick. It wasn’t fair that the boy had to get through this.  
Harry found his husband a few minutes later and they both started crying knowing that there was nothing they could do to make Zayn feel better. It was up to the small boy but his body was so weak and Harry was actually scared that he wasn’t going to make it.  
They cried and held each other like terrified children. They cried until they felt numb and then just sat on the floor together. Louis felt Harrys hand slip into his and he held on his husband hoping that they were both strong enough to stay strong and get through this.  
*  


Days passed and Zayn barely woke up anymore. His body was too weak to fight anymore and even though Louis and Harry both didn’t want to believe it they knew deep down that their son was dying.

  


He seemed to spend more time hooked up to tubes each and every day. Zayn wasn’t able to keep food down and had to be fed through a tube. They all tried to smile but it was harder and harder every day to pretend that everything was going to be okay.

  


“Am I going to die?” Zayn asked and didn’t look scared. He just wanted to know the truth.

  


“No, baby. I’m not going to let that happen!” Louis said determinedly not willing to give up. If there was a little bit of hope left inside of Zayn then he wasn’t going to take it from him.

  


Seeing their son hooked up to the machines was kind of a surreal experience. The beeps of the machines were etching a sick lullaby in the room as he slept. Those beeps showing how fragile Zayn’s life really was.

  


Most of their time was spent sleeping in hospital chairs and curling up on the small couch in the room never leaving him alone. Never sparing a moment.

  


Zayn was fading pretty fast at this point. His smiles came fewer and with that the darkness of the situation that had settled at the edge of everyone’s life.

  


It was horrible for Louis and Harry to see their son like that. They wanted to help him, to be sick instead of him but there was nothing they could do.

Two days later the doctors told Harry and Louis that their son was dying and that there wasn’t much time left.

  
Zayn didn’t look like Zayn anymore. Zayn was there; buried within the broken skeleton connected to numerous machines with tubes snaking everywhere. His breathing was done by a machine and his eyes didn’t open but the doctor said that he can still hear his family. Harry and Louis read to her and sang all the time. They were crying a lot now and then they both feel Zayn giving up.  


They brought Liam and Niall to the hospital to see their brother for the last time. Of course they are devastated as they saw their brother and it was painful, very painful for all of them.

  


“Zayn I don’t know if you can hear me but if you do then please listen to me now. I love you, I love you so much. You are my son, my baby and I’m so sorry that this had to happen to you. You are too young to leave us and I don’t want to think about living without you. I love you so much baby!” Louis said through tears and Harry quickly took his husband’s hand into his own before also saying some final words to the five year old boy.

  


“I love you. I love you Zayn. I don’t know how we’re going to go on without you but I know that you want us to go on. I’ll try to live again, to be happy again. Not for me but for you. I promise!”

  


Liam hugged his brother tight and made sure that his “cars” hat was sitting perfectly on Zayn’s bald head whilst Niall kissed his brother on the forehead.

  
“I love you. I’m going to miss you but I’ll never forget you. I promise to take care of Daddy and Papa!”  


They sat there for a little while longer Louis and Harry both holding one of Zayn’s hands and then at 14:23 on the 20th of December Zayn Tomlinson lost the battle against cancer, a disease that can tear everything apart.


End file.
